MissDeeds
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Joined Nov 16, 2020 · 57 Posts
#6,542 · Dec 28, 2020
Another scary/funny one: My sister and I were up in our usual haunts in the mountains. On this particular day we went wandering far south of our usual steep trail and wandered through a beautiful meadow and out to a spot where we could see a sliver of the distant reservoir. We only ever did day or part-day hikes and the day was wearing on so we stopped for a snack and drinks that we had brought along and then began to retrace our steps.
It was when we got back to the edge of the meadow that the trouble began. We could hear gunfire and to our alarm, the leaves on the clumps of scruffy native plum trees near us began to shred. We just thought it was some guys "plinking" at cans and bottles or something and began to shout, "Hey! Stop shooting!" (In hindsight, we should have hit the dirt and then yelled; the thing that saved us was the fact that the other end of the meadow was somewhat lower and that was throwing off their aim).
Well much to our shock a couple of guys in heavy gear--padded clothing, goggles and masks--stood up out of the plums and stared at us. We stared back. At last my sister said to them, "Um, could we get a cease fire? We need to get back to our vehicle." They began to shout at someone--or several someones--at the other end of the meadow: "Cease fire! Time out! There are women on the trail back here!"
The reply came instantly: "YOU FILTHY, F***ING LIAR! THERE ARE NO WOMEN UP HERE! NO TIME OUT! NO CEASE FIRE!" This was followed by a barrage of gunfire that shredded a lot of the remaining leaves off the top of the plums. The poor guys who had requested the cease fire for us just looked at us helplessly. My sister and I began to shout like a couple of little Dr. Seuss characters: "We are here! We are here! Stop shooting! Cease fire! WE ARE HERE!
At the far end of the meadow, a bunch of big men--also in heavy gear, which we realized later was paint ball gear--stood up out of the grass and tiny shrubs and came running across the meadow in a huge wedge. At the end of the meadow where we were, even more men began to pop out of hiding in the long grass. None of them spoke a word or lifted their masks, just stood there staring at us--and we at them!--for what seemed like 5 or 10 minutes.
At last I said, "Um, well, thanks for the cease fire!"
"Yes, thanks," my sister chirped. "Bye-ee!" We then took off at a much faster pace than we had been going. At last we dropped over some huge boulders that formed a sort of natural staircase to a lower level. We were out of sight there and sat gasping for breath. At last my sister hissed, "Look over and see if they are still staring!"
"Why do I have to look!"
"Cause I asked, so I have dibs not to!"
I grumbled but poked one eyeball over the top, then instantly dropped back down. Yes, they were still staring! So, we hauled a** out of there and down to my sister's old car and out of the canyon.
Fast forward 5 or 6 years. I was working at a large retail chain and was training a guy to take over my job. He was working two jobs and putting himself through college and the police academy. Somehow we got on the subject of hiking and I told him this story. He laughed until he almost literally fell on the floor. Once he could speak again he told me that he knew those guys. One group was the SWAT team of a city a couple counties over, the other team was search and rescue people. According to him their paintball games were of the "show no mercies, take no prisoners" variety and the winners claimed serious bragging rights. "I can just picture you and your sister wandering into the middle of one of their hardcore paintball games!" he wheezed.
Well, um yeah, that's just what happened. Oopsie!:rolleyes: Talk about encountering dangerous wildlife