I see shadows; Ro

I'll be blunt: I have a condition that can cause hallucinations. I'm being treated for it. I only rule out hallucinations in this case because, last I checked, I'm only really prone to flashbacks and people started to complain to me about what they were seeing and it was frighteningly similar. This strikes me as weird. Not necessarily paranormal--I could just be delusional with cruel friends--but weird.

Their name is Ro. At least, those are the only two letters of their name that I know. They don't like being called "it," and they've been following me for nearly seven years.

It all started when I met my ex. Let's call him "S" for the sake of anonymity. Shortly after I met S, I began seeing strange shadows and hearing weird sounds. This was before my condition, so it was kind of scary and weird, but I didn't really talk about it with anyone. At least not seriously. I claimed to be sleep deprived a lot and even claimed fever dreams at one point.

Over time, the shadows started getting closer and the noises started getting louder. S seemed to escalate with it, and over time became extremely cruel. I won't go into the details, but he's the reason I have a problem at all; every flashback I have is centered on what he'd do to me or say to me. I don't know why I stayed.
I don't think Ro knows either.

What I do know is that I was on the phone once with S while he was moving into his new house, and my visitor decided to show themself. They would have been freakishly tall if they were upright, but they crawled on the ground like some kind of bug. Every part of them was longer than normal, their face nonexistent, joints popped out at weird angles. Their spine and shoulders seemed especially fucked up.

Then, they came at me. It wasn't threatening, but I screamed and hung up and bolted. It wasn't until later that I realized they had actually stopped before hitting me, almost like I startled them back when I jumped up and ran. It was pretty strange.

Later, when S was at my house, we were in the kitchen and he tried to push me out of the way. Not violently, since I was just obstructing his getting to a cabinet and he was urging me over, but he stopped cold when a massive black mass zipped between us. He thought it was my cat until he realized that my cat doesn't come up past his waist. I don't know if it was panic or excitement, but he chased after it and spent the rest of the night trying to talk to the shadow.

He convinced himself their name was Sin. He sat up a camera. He actually left me alone for the night because he was so preoccupied. Unfortunately, he also locked me out of my room so I wouldn't "interrupt" at some point.

And standing outside for an hour, waiting, was the first time I really saw Ro. They had a face, sort of. Indentions where eyes should be, a slight bump where a nose should be, strained skin where a mouth should be. Their neck is just as freakishly long as the rest of them. They're horribly emaciated.

And they were lying at the opposite end of the hall, on the floor. Just limp on their side, staring at me. I wasn't scared and there was never an air of ill intent. It was like they were just kind of sitting out there with me as a sign of solidarity or whatever. They raised their head slightly and then slithered backwards into one of the back rooms.

Then came the sightings by my friends. One thought somebody broke into my house and trailed them with a knife. When I asked what he saw, the friend told me it was a tall, skinny guy who just walked out of my mom's room across the hall. I never had told him about the shadow.

Another friend repeatedly saw him to the point she refused to stay anywhere alone in the house. She always said she didn't feel threatened, but that she can't even take jumpscares in horror movies, so shuffling shadow men were a bit much. I understand since I still jump whenever I think I see Ro.

The only one who doesn't seemed spooked is the cat. And my old dog (who is gone from natural causes; I had him for years). They acknowledged something, and even played with something, but I never heard a growl or a hiss or anything.

In the past few years, I've accepted the fact that Ro is probably something paranormal. I've started trying to talk to it, usually by some pendulum method I found while asking yes or no questions. Or asking them to tap once for yes or two for no. That sort of deal.

They say they've never been alive. They don't know what they are. They can't control when they appear or where. They never had a name, but gave themself one; the first two letters are R and O, but it's become a game for me to figure it out. They're not in pain. They're not angry. They don't understand people very well and that's why they're so bad at mimicking them. They like conversation but can't talk. They don't like constant attention. They get exhausted with interaction quickly.

I talked to a friend who told me they think Ro may be a thoughtform or something, born from the abuse. Maybe a side effect of my disorder, but that I'm projecting it somehow. Personally? I don't know. Even as much as I'm saying makes me feel like I'm crazy, or that I'm deluding myself into thinking I'm some super special snowflake.
I'm not. I'm some traumatized woman who lives in a trailer. Whoo.

So, I'm mostly just posting my story here to get some opinions? Thoughtform? Spirit? Delusions? Maybe part of my PTSD? I ain't got a clue.

#Visual/Shadow #Unexplained/Paranormal