Family Feeder
There are beings who feed off the life energy of entire family trees. And have a way to warp the mind so people think they are family despite no one in particular can identify or agree or say when and where and how related.
At some point Bernie made a pact with a darker energy. Allowing him to nibble on the life force of another, then remove their memory of being fed on.
After he feeds, all the time spent together is removed, making it seem like he has moved elsewhere, and/or as he feeds he simply walks where he wants to as people come to again.
Example, he came to the house, entered, after driving up being heard, you let him in, fed on you and your family. And while he directed you to go back to where you were, so you wouldn't remember, wipes your mind and plays it off as your imagination because it was too much bother to go through the lock up for your grandmother, and drive away and come back since he was already there.
He then spent time asking about family because he needs certain life force to feed on. So everything he does is around food time, as others eat or as he eats normal food as part of the pattern of his magics. While he eats basic food he can digest the energy soul force he fed on earlier.
After going home, his connection fades, so being creepy on the phone with you to reconnection energy times saying the names of family over and over.
The grandmother with glassy eyes and her uneasiness before leaving, is the fact deep down she has felt this feeding, knew her girls where going to be fed on, and that she on the surface could not remember or stop it, so her overwhelming need to protect you but leave so Bernard could have his way.
Then the BlackBerry meeting, over food because food is his energy disclaimer and ritualistic need, he fed on you on the way in. Cleared your mind on the way in, and sick of waiting and ready for real digestion, sat on the couch waiting.
Part of what nourishes them is the confusion and also self doubt created by all these things.
And finally, in 2003 he was feeding on the death of the uncle. As he was digesting it with physical food further in the cafeteria, he was found out, so he started to feed and erase everyone else as not to give him away. And went back to the room to wait for time to catch up and to further show confusion.
If he comes near you, tell him you know what he is, he is powerless. He is no longer allowed near you. He will pay for his crimes and you know how to end his immortality by piercing his third eye or severing the spinal cord at the base of the neck. And the best thing he can do is leave your family permanently alone or you will reveal his true name and cause him to die instantly.
Keep silver and iron with you if you choose to confront him. Or never go bear him again. Your choice.
Edit: Spelling , Sentence Structure